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That little voice becomes a shout in a matter of moments.
We listen to it day in and day out and it begins to weaken our voice of reason. The voice that is telling us that we are good at what we do starts to whisper in comparison to the shout. That shout begins to take over and soon we can’t move. We are doubting ourselves so much that we believe our only option is to walk away and pretend that wasn’t our dream to begin with.
I haven’t written a blog post in weeks. I just haven’t had it in me. There is something that darkens my mood and I can’t shake it. It takes over and it feels like I have no control over that darkness. All of the processes and steps that I have been using for the last few years, don’t seem to be making an impact.
Sitting in front of my computer and creating no longer brought me joy. I began to doubt my abilities. Looking to those around me and knowing that I just wasn’t as good enough as them. I just didn’t have that magic that they had. I wanted a piece of that magic desperately but I couldn’t handle looking at those that did.
Hearing others say that they don’t doubt themselves made me doubt myself anymore. I thought that I was correct in keeping these doubts alive. Clearly, if others aren’t having them then I am right to have them. If I was the expert that I say I am, doubt wouldn’t be there.
And then I remembered something I heard…
A PIECE OF TRUTH TO GET YOU THROUGH THE DOUBT
You just need to be smarter than your ideal client.
You do not need to know it all.
You do not need to have a perfect life.
You do not need to have perfect days.
You do not need to pretend to have all of the above.
Feeling as if we need to be perfect makes being creative impossible. You can’t be perfect and create all at the same time. You need to be willing to move forward with messy action.
Calling yourself an expert is scary but I do believe that we all have a bit of expert and a bit of genius in us. It is there, just waiting to be showcased.
There are all sorts of blogging and content experts out there. Hell, some of them, I do NOT even come close to their level of knowledge. Now does that make me any less of an expert than them?
No.
Why?
Because their audience and their content are geared toward people like me.
NOT MY PEOPLE!!
That is when the game changes. That despite life’s complications, we are showing up and becoming an expert in our own way. Showing up in front of our audience means showing up imperfect.
It isn’t about not struggling. It is about how we get through the struggle.
We tend to think that life needs to be perfect in order to help those around us.
We tend to think that in order to have a business we need to have it all figured out.
We tend to think that other people know more than we do and that somehow discredits what we do know
I believe that we can start where we are and grow from what we know. How do we do that when the voices in our heads are screaming something different?
WAYS TO BUILD CONFIDENCE WHEN IT COMES TO IMPOSTER SYNDROME
I have been stuck in imposter syndrome a few times. Usually, it means that I am consuming more content than I am creating. It means that I have allowed the expertise of others to make me feel less than the expert that I am.
Confidence is just a skill that needs to be built. We can all have confidence. A little thought for you…
Someone out there is looking at you as the expert that you are looking at other people as.
How do we bring out that confidence in our abilities?
Practice daily
Confidence comes by showing up. Showing up consistently. Confidence is built over time and by being inconsistent, you are telling yourself that your gift, your zone of genius just isn’t worth the time of day. So, why should others?
This isn’t meant to be mean. This is advice that I am also giving to myself because I lost sight of that. Show up and practice every day so that you can be that confident expert that you are.
Print out your client testimonials
I love surrounding myself with the words that my clients send me. It really helps me get through the times when doubt creeps in.
I print these off and put them on my vision board.
I print these off and put them on my fridge.
I print these off and put them on my bathroom mirror.
No matter where I go in my home, I can see the people that I made a difference with. The love they have shown me gives me the courage and confidence to keep moving forward. That is what matters.
Throw out the idea of mistakes
I don’t relate to people who look perfect. It makes me feel uncomfortable. My life is nowhere near what perfect should look like and I am totally okay with that. I show everyone how messy life can be.
You can’t make a mistake when it comes to creating anything. Whether that is written content, programs that you created, or anything else. If you are constantly worried about making mistakes, you will never move forward with your business, content, or with clients.
Show up even when life is messy
This section may be a personal one that I need to focus on. A message to myself. When I get stuck, I stop showing up.
I blame the doubt.
I blame the negative talk in my head.
I retreat and I stop showing up because I feel like I can’t help anyone when my life is messy. HOWEVER…
These are the moments that I am going to most likely be able to teach those around me. Your people want to see what you are creating, what you are working on, and know what you know EVEN when your life is messy. You can teach in the messy moments because those moments are also teaching you something.
Remember the reason that you started
We can get so caught up in moving to the next stage of business, of life, of everything that we forget where we currently are. When we are consistently feeling like we have to keep moving forward and we get stuck or we just don’t move forward as fast as we were hoping to, we allow the doubt to take over.
When this happens, you need to stop and take a moment to remember the reason that you started.
Why did you start the blog?
Why did you start the business?
Why?
Journal the reason.
Share the reason with your followers.
Write out the reason and put it somewhere that you can read it on a daily basis.
Use your teachable moments
Expertise is built by our experiences and the lessons that we have learned through those experiences. That’s what becomes our teachable moments.
When you are struggling, you are just living inside one of your teachable moments. Use these times to teach and show others that these moments matter.
STOP listening to that little voice of fear.
START listening to that little flutter in your heart.
That is where all of the wisdom lies.
As my daughter, Iliza (4 years old when she said it), says…
Throw aside the fear and step into it. Show up and little by little, the voices that are telling you that you aren’t good enough will become so quiet that you don’t even know they are still talking.
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