As I stand on the threshold of the final year of my 30s, I find myself in a reflective and contemplative state. This impending milestone prompts me to pause, look back at the journey I’ve traveled so far, and look forward with anticipation to what lies ahead. The 30s have been a decade of significant growth, learning, and transformation, filled with moments that have shaped my identity and aspirations. 

Now, as I embrace this last chapter, I am setting forth deliberate goals—both personal and professional—that will guide me through this pivotal year. Join me as I outline my intentions, share my reflections, and embark on this meaningful journey towards turning 40 with purpose and clarity.

THE ONE QUESTION I WILL ASK MYSELF EVERY MORNING

What is it that I want?

It is time for me to start asking myself this question daily. So for the next 120 days (which ends November 20 when I will review what I have come to figure out), I will write my answer in a notebook to keep track of what I want. Accountability is what I need for my growth and that is what I am going to focus on for the last year of my thirties. 

What is it that I want?

A question that I have put off asking myself because I don’t want to know the answer (isn’t that a whole blog post in itself) or I am afraid of what others may say. So here is to the next 120 days diving into myself and figuring out the answer to this question.

Does anyone want to join me on this journey to self-freedom?? 

That isn’t all that I am going to focus on though. This blog post is really about what I want to achieve in the final year of my 30s. So let’s dive into what I am going to achieve in the next 334 days.

GOALS AND GROWTH FOR THE FINAL YEAR IN MY 30S

I have always been a girl who follows the rules. The girl who does as she is supposed to do because she is the good girl. 

Now I can continue to be the good girl but the good girl who does what she wants. The good girl who says yes to herself while chasing HER dreams and HER priorities. 

It’s time to have fun, throw away the girl who is always exhausted, and become this unstoppable force. Who is with me?!?!?!?!?!

This first one is a little on the personal side so Mom, if you are reading, I apologize now. 

Ask for what I want in the bedroom. Now my husband and I have a great sex life. That I will not complain about but there are moments that I catch myself not getting something that I expected or that I wanted. I don’t say anything. This is part of my trauma healing around sex that I am working on and it hasn’t been easy. 

I catch myself building myself up that there can be this huge crash when things don’t go as I expected them to. I have spoken about this in my previous sex post. I want to change that. 

I know that my husband is open to this and it isn’t that he isn’t willing to listen. What it is though is that I have a hard time telling someone what I want. This doesn’t only happen in the bedroom. It can happen in other areas of my life but for now, I want to practice with my safe person, who is my husband. 

Finish the book that I started. I started writing my memoir years ago and I have stopped. It has been super difficult to write emotionally so I put it away and haven’t looked at it since. 

I have second-guessed that anyone is going to want to read it. 

I have second-guessed what I should be writing about.

Now is the time to make that promise to myself that I finish it. 

I finish for the healing.

I finish it for the women who need to read it.

I finish it for my children so they will someday understand who I am.

I finish it for myself.

Take control of my health. When I say health, I mean full body health including mental and physical health. I keep putting this off as the last thing that needs to be done and I am struggling. 

I need to put this first and foremost. 

I need to do this for me and no one else. 

I have a gym membership that I don’t use as often as I plan. I want to get in the habit of going at least three times a week with my daughter. My daughter and I have a 30-day stretching challenge that we are starting. We have even filled out a Health and Wellness Planner so that we can focus on the goals that we have.

I want to get a membership to Clear Float so that I can get away for one day a month and give my mental health a break. I did this back in January and LOVED it! I keep putting off buying the membership for myself but no more. It is time!!!

Hire help for house chores. I promised myself back in January that I was going to hire someone to help me. I am busy and there are things that I want to start working towards. This means that I need help and I am just not getting the level of help that I need from those I live with (aka children and husband). So now is the time to get clear on the help that I need and what that looks like when hiring someone. 

Surround myself with people who have time for me. It is so much harder to keep friends as an adult than even making them. I want to surround myself with people who believe in me, who want to be around me, and who want to grow and expand.  I no longer have time for those who don’t have time for me. My heart has been broken too many times for that to happen again.

Follow my passions even when I don’t know if they are going to work out. I have a few BIG things that I am working towards. I have put them on the back burner because I let life take over. NO MORE!! I want to focus on these passion projects because they allow me to heal and grow as a woman. 

Stay tuned for what is coming up!

How do I plan to do these things? 

I am going to start making a plan for every month. Get clear on the days and hours when I will be able to focus on these things. It is more than that though. 

It is about saying no to anything that doesn’t fit into what I am working towards. 

It is about telling my family the goals that I am working towards so they understand.

It is about keeping promises to myself so that I can accomplish more this year.

It is about taking it day by day and refocusing when I lose confidence, lose motivation, or just want to give up.